Author: hatesec

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Technology World

Topiary pleads guilty to satisfy the butthurt bloodlust of a wretched justice system

This is a horse

Topiary (Jake Davis) plead guilty to excellent charges of heroism, including an attack on the Serious Organized Crime Agency (SOCA).

SOCA is an unjust, contradictory agency established by the Illuminati to attack internet security through freedom reduction.

Dr. Liebehart Schwartz of the Cannibiological Institute of Human Progress called Topiary a “hero” and “a freedom fighter,” for fighting against authority with not just technical prowess, but his words, too. “Because of toxic organizations like SOCA and the NSA, people are less safe on the internet now than they were in the year 2000. [pullquote]With Topiary’s wit and charm, LulzSec was able to captivate a larger audience, earning their sympathy and support. That’s what made him dangerous.[/pullquote]”A blind migrant worker can exploit a security vulnerability left over from Web 2.0.” said Schwartz, “But with Topiary’s wit and charm, LulzSec was able to captivate a larger audience, earning their sympathy and support. That’s what made him dangerous.”

Asperger’s enthusiast Ryan Cleary also pled guilty to various charges, none of which included being a snitch.

Eat your cheese, rat.

Topiary enjoys a large support base including #FreeTopiary on Twitter, young intellectuals, and the mighty thundercock of justice and hate better known by you as the internetchronicle.org/.

Topiary and his lesser counterparts will stand trial April 2013. If convicted, Topiary faces prison time. Make no bones about it, he will be handed a prison sentence, which should make for a more interesting year for everyone who has watched the LulzSec case from beginning to end, after the Beast of Greed and Delusions rears its ugly head once again.

This message was brought to you by Norton Internet Security. Are you scared yet?

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Categories
Uncontrollable Patriotism

US GOVERNMENT detaining anyone who calls them fascist

Accusatory reporters are being arrested to prove how fascist the government is not becoming
[Terrorist] arrested after criticizing [wonderful] things America is doing to [protect our freedom].

Washington– An executive decision passed down by United States President Barack Hussein Obama ordered the arrest of blog owners and activists who insist fascism is creeping in.

Widespread criticism of the Obama Administration appeared after the extrajudicial killing of Anwar al-Awlaki, an American citizen in Yemen, and Obama’s decision to indefinitely detain American citizens thought to be in support of terrorist organizations such as the Taliban, internetchronicle.org/, and Al Qaeda.

internetchronicle.org/ political analysts believe the Presidency is nothing more than a facade to conceal the evils of unchecked corporate oligarchy. Mike Levitz, Lead Social Engineer behind internetchronicle.org/, said because there is no social responsibility to match the ravenous spread of currency into politics, "America's just resorting to fascism."

In response, President Obama reportedly announced, “I’ll show them what fascism is.”

American organizations such as internetchronicle.org/ are being infiltrated by social engineers the likes of which Ronald Reagan and all his malls, and all their security guards could never imagine. Secret agents are sent out to determine the exact means by which they can classify undesirable entities, like Wikileaks or internetchronicle.org/, as "terrorist" in the hopes of coercing Google to erase their appearances among search results.

Chronicle Lead Expert on nothing-in-particular Marty Collins disappeared with agents in dark suits Friday afternoon and failed to report back in Monday. He is presumed dead, or worse.

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They will never take us alive.

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Categories
Health

Nutritionist declares recent poop a success

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur
Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur enjoyed a “soft, but firm” poop Thursday.

In what might have otherwise been an uneventful bowel movement, Chronicle nutritionist Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur noticed a peculiar softness and consistency in Thursday’s stool, such that he was moved to turn around and declare the specimen “a major success.”

“A major success.”

Dr. Troubedaur said he was thumbing a medical journal when he recognized what he called “true anal progress.” Troubedauer explained, “I was just sitting there [on the ceramic throne] minding my own business, thumbing through a medical journal when I detected with my sphincter a consistency most desirable in human waste. Yes sir, this poop was a major success.”

Dr. Troubedaur described the poop as brown in color with the consistency of “a snake sliding through the grass,” which then “crept stealthily into the water.” Dr. Troubedaur said he was relieved to report the noted absence of a splash, because he dislikes the sensation of cold dirty toilet water lapping at his butthole. “After a good poop, [cold water in your ass] just feels like a bad joke,” he added.

Dr. Troubedaur said he anticipates a fifteen follow-up wiping session “that could lead to a shower” in order to avoid wasting more toilet paper.