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Special Interest Technology

Lurk moar: Ryan Cleary violates bail after talking to Sabu, goes directly to jail

Ryan Cleary
Ryan Cleary was seen wearing the same clothes during his March arrest as when he was arrested last summer, but according to eyewitness reports, "looked more like a zombie this time."

LONDON — Internet snitch Ryan Cleary's lawyer made no attempt to defend her client's retardation Saturday as she told internetchronicle.org/ he has been in prison since March 5 for talking to Sabu over Christmas, a violation of his bail.

Even though Sabu was, by that time, fully employed by the FBI, Ryan and a few other people who don't read internetchronicle.org/ still thought he was on their side, and probably said some criminal-ass shit to him.

Cleary is lurking Chelmsford Prison near London.

He will go before a judge in May alongside LulzSec‘s very own Jake Davis, a.k.a. Topiary.

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Categories
Entertainment News

Lady GaGa diagnosed with brain cancer

Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga has been diagnosed with brain cancer.

LOS ANGELES It is our sad duty to report American pop idol Lady Gaga has been diagnosed with brain cancer.

A Saturday announcement confirmed physicians discovered what has been called an “inoperable” malignant tumor in the brain of Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, perhaps known better as Lady Gaga, after the singer complained of feeling more run down and fatigued than usual.

Lady Gaga is being treated at the Cedars-Sinai medical institution. She thanked her fans for their support in this difficult time, encouraging everyone to “stay strong,” reassuring the public she “will persevere.”

Germanotta’s agent requested media and fans to contact Lady Gaga, as usual, care of her record labels, Def Jam Records, and Interscope.

Lady Gaga stopped using cell phones two years ago because of paranoia that they might cause brain cancer. Saturday’s news indicates she may not have stopped soon enough.

There has been no word yet as to whether the Born This Way Ball Tour (on The Road To Love) will continue as scheduled.

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Categories
Editorial

State of the Internet address

People can’t really do anything meaningful without the media labeling it. People can’t have a loud enough voice without being labeled a “spokesperson.” (see: Bob Dylan of the 1960s)

See also: Moralfag Anonymous decidedly fucked

Identifying every single thing that happens with a keyword destroys any value it might have accrued on an Internet flooded with “news” blogs whose sole purpose is to sell advertising space. We should know. Look to the right –>

anonymous
Alex Jones stole this to use at disinfo.org

You can’t find an informative, well-written article about something anymore because it has been totally buried by ignorance, or worse – pure disinformation – contained in forty five thousand pages “optimized” for search engines.

The spread of information doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong. A poisonous ideology will often spread faster than a useful one. For example, the idea that Anonymous, by its very “nature,” can’t be corrupted was so absurd, we just had to report on it. Remember Sabu? Arrested June 7th: Check ’em.

[pullquote]

“It’s become an awful disease.”

Kilgore Trout, legendary inventor of Anon Porn, now known as "Sexy Fawkes"

[/pullquote]

As a satire site, the internetchronicle.org/ is compelled to produce disinformation culture faster than society can arrive at it naturally, just to prove that it’s possible, just because we can.

So, keep at it Internet. We’re always right behind you . . . or a step ahead of you.

Frank Mason
Editor, internetchronicle.org/