Tag: war

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News Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism World

Victory in Iraq!

ZombieTime.Com proclaimed victory in Iraq yesterday, and celebration has rippled through the Conservative blogosphere. In a complicated modern world, it’s important that we mark events in black and white, and know where we stand. If we want victory, we must respect ZombieTime.Com’s decision to be the official decider of victory. That’s why Lebal Drocer has decided to financially* back VI day as it will be known in the annals of history. The Middle East stands on a razor edge between Theocratic Totalitarianism and Western Cultural Transformation. Join us in the virtual ticker tape parade as the troops don’t come home and enjoy victory while nothing about their situation has changed. We’ll make sure that Obama Commie gets no credit when the troops come home.

History will look upon VI day for the great triumph of the modern age of Imperialism that it truly is. Rumors have spread that Russia is already planning Victory in Georgia day, as they train nuclear weapons upon Poland.

*All Lebal Drocer’s Funds

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Entertainment Special Interest

PACIFISTIC FOOT MASKS COME ALIVE

ROSWELL, NM–Though not much is known and/or being stated at this hour, Lebal Drocer Inc. has put out a statement clearing Elf Wax and their smash hit, “Krocko’s Contemporary Strife”, of any participation in this shocking, supernatural occurrence. Lebal Drocer Inc. also has reassured the public that the ubercorporation does not endorse peace in any way or form.

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Health News Religion World

End of the World Draws Near

In the aftermath of the scientific discovery that there is no god and that all is merely as Science explains, Pope Benedict has abdicated his position and liquidated all church assets and given them to the poor. Poverty in Europe has been ended. The middle-east has exploded into a non-stop frenzy of orgies and crime when it was found out that everyone was praying towards an empty and meaningless box. The situation in Asia, outside of Islamic areas has been described as “totally indifferent” because the godless Chinese are unaffected. Buddhists also maintain that their way of life has been unaffected by news that there is no god. America has entered a brutal civil war, and great tragedy has ensued. Salt Lake city is now a glass lake, and while the reasons why the Mormons nuked themselves are fully unclear, it is most likely intentional suicide, as their entire reason for living was removed over night. There are rumors of mutant Mormons roaming the Great plains apparently in search of flesh, the only survivors of the self-nuking of Utah. Their immeasurable appetite for flesh is only surpassed by the agony of surviving suicide. Truly these horrible monsters will wreak havoc whenever they reach civilized areas. Most Protestant Christians, however, refuse to believe in evidence or proof that goes against their faith, because it is a part of God’s plan. Five separate people have claimed to be the second-coming of Jesus Christ, and thousands have decided that they are in fact the Anti-Christ. Virtually every school in the nation has been shut down because of wannabe Anti-Christs going on rampages. Currently Pat Robertson’s Paramilitary Christian Warriors whom he funded through the 700 Club are in control of the nation’s Capital. More on this breaking story as it develops.