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News

THE POWER OF THE VIRGIN REVOLUTION

Dear citizens of the world,

For far to long have we have been socially rejected. For far to long have we stood by and watched seemingly attractive people who aren’t awkward actually get the opportunity to talk to a girl. For far to long have we seen people get profiled based on wearing a piece of plastic on their face. It has been to long since something has happen that has changed the world. Getting laid and seeking employment is long overdue and I am here to introduce the start.

Many people have been protesting in the streets of New York, and they’ve gotten beat by police for being hippies, LOL. The only problem with the spreading is it wasn’t very well organized to begin with because we actually have no idea what we’re even protesting about. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea and think I am taking away from progress, because this is certainly true. I support the new “occupy” movements and will take part in my local occupy, and gladly get my ass kicked by cops, which will be streamed, and will be fucking hilarious.

What I am suggesting is something more or less on the lines of Global Protest Day except a bit more organized and planned. So here is what I am suggesting.

On the first Monday of April 2012, we shall march to every capitol to demand more money because work sucks, in your local governments, to your countries government, we shall avoid vaginas and social acceptance EVERYWHERE.

This shall be launched on a time schedule. Starting with the first timezone to hit 9 a.m. on that Monday morning and then working its way through every single timezone, except Africa.

Think about it. Every hour a new protest launches in another place and cops waste their time kicking some hippies ass when they could be home with their family or destroying their wife in bed. More people every hour and the cancer would spread globally. There would be no chance for a media blackout. And there would be no chance for oppression, because, we don’t have freedom to say what we want in America, although we do, we ignore that and say we don’t. This is the age of hacking, which we seriously have no idea what the fuck that even is. Legs spread faster than they ever have, and we still can’t get pussy. We can still do this.

This is not a final draft, because if it was I’d be pretty embarassed. This is something I want to spread and get feedback. I want this to work, because I don’t want to, I like handouts. I want the power of the virgins to be that. THE POWER OF THE VIRGINS. WE ARE HERE. WE ARE ANGRY. WE WILL NEVER BE SOCIALLY ACCEPTED. BUT NO MORE. AWAKEN, TIME TO TURN AMERICA INTO A 3RD WORLD COUNTRY.

WE R ANONYM0ZE
WE R LEEJUN LOLOLOLOLOL FB
WE DO NOT FORGIVE THE EVIL BIG BAD CORRUPT BAD BIG GOVERNMENTS
WE DO NOT FORGET THE CORRUPTION OF BIG BAD CORPORATIONS OF WHICH WE STILL BUY PRODUCTS FROM
EXPECT NOTHING, SERIOUSLY, BECAUSE WE AREN’T EVEN A THREAT. WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO HACK, AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE’RE EVEN DOING

Love always.
@anonymously37

Categories
Politics

Witnesses: Mitt Romney Masturbates on Hotel Balcony

This photo allegedly shows a nude Mitt Romney engaged in public masturbation.

SPRINGFIELD, CONN. – At 9:00 a.m., passersby in a quiet Connecticut town say they expressed horror and shock at the sight on a hotel balcony of a masturbating middle-aged man,  a man whom they claim to have been been front-runner for the Republican Party presidential nod, Mitt Romney. The cellphone photos they took, which have since ignited a social media firestorm, appear to show the former Massachusetts governor expose himself, “masturbating for all to see.” The balcony height of downtown Springfield’s Marriott  exposed Mr. Romney’s public sex act, they say, to a crowd including children as young as five.

At time of press, there is a poverty of coverage from networks due to the explicit nature of the evidence, and the gravity of the consequences for the Romney campaign. Democratic strategist James Carville today compared the mainstream media’s silence up to this point to the gulf of time between the National Enquirer’s breaking of the John Edwards affair and its widespread entry into public discourse. “It’s just denial,” said Mr. Carville, a former senior campaign adviser to President Bill Clinton.

The Springfield District Attorney’s Office says the presumptive Republican nominee has not been charged with a crime. Mr. Romney reportedly fled the balcony immediately after he was spotted, and no solid video evidence has yet surfaced. However, one witness did capture a blurry photograph which shows the candidate before he turned to re-enter a room.

Analysts suggest this is the end to Romney’s campaign, and Newt Gingrich will likely take the place as front runner after Romney suspends his campaign. Representatives from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Mr. Romney’s religious denomination, released statements to the press saying they are “appalled by the bigotry” of commenters, whose “partisan desperation,” they say, has contributed to an animus to smear the candidate, 65. The release says the church is “dismayed” by crass insinuations “any morning ‘open-air’ masturbation ritual” is a “normal part of Mormon culture.”

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Hate Reviews

chronicle.su SUCKS and is gay

CHRONICLE.SU HATER
Local teen Lee Dominic has hated internetchronicle.org/ since the very beginning

The Chronicle website is stupid and wrong about everything. Why do people read this shit? It is the lamest ever.

Here, the "satire" around anonymous has grown increasingly satirical in nature, which is not funny.

And the ads are just pointless, they don't even make any money! An advertisement for Grady Warren? That guy will never win! And what's with all the joking? These are serious topics, people.

I am NOT butthurt, because I was one of the FIRST to hate the website. internetchronicle.org/ is fail and AIDS. anons who just showed up out of nowhere and started hating the chornicel are a bunch of summerfags

I don't think abortion is funny anymore and I especially don't think Pseudonymus' article about God was factually accurate. It might even be illegal. Low blow assholes, God is dead and He can't be here to defend himself anymore from slander.

I hope this site gets DDoS by Ryan Queery and Assoc.