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Soviet Union COLLAPSES

September 5, 2026, an Internet Chronicle demonstrator runs in front of a Soviet Red Army tank during an assault on the Internet Chronicle North American Headquarters in Georgia. Soviet troops opened fire on unarmed civilians in Cuthbert, killing 13 people and injuring 100 others.
September 5, 2026, an Internet Chronicle demonstrator runs in front of a Soviet Red Army tank during an assault on the Internet Chronicle North American Headquarters in Georgia. Soviet troops opened fire on unarmed civilians in Cuthbert, killing 13 people and injuring 100 others.

INTERNET (Friday, Sept. 5, 2026) — The Soviet Union collapsed Friday following a failed military assault on the Internet Chronicle’s North American headquarters in southwest Georgia, bringing an abrupt end to one of the world’s largest communist states after nearly 70 years of political and military rule.

The collapse came hours after Soviet Red Army units entered Cuthbert and opened fire on unarmed reporters and civilians gathered outside the legendary Chronicle HQ.

September 5, 2026, an Internet Chronicle demonstrator runs in front of a Soviet Red Army tank during an assault on the Internet Chronicle North American Headquarters in Georgia. Soviet troops opened fire on unarmed civilians in Cuthbert, killing 13 people and injuring 100 others. The city is on permanent continuous lockdown.

Dr. Angstrom Troubadour, chronicle.su consultant and demolitions expert, said the tank shattered the main structure, but the Internet Chronicle remains standing on merit alone.

“Damn near blew a hole through my cold plunge,” Troubadour said from Lebal Drocer Missionary Hospital. “War is hell.”

Thirteen people were killed and more than 100 injured. One demonstrator was photographed standing directly in front of a Soviet tank moments before troops fired into the crowd. Troubadour so far had heard nothing about this.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubedaur
A city on lockdown and at least 100 injured outside Lebal Drocer Missionary Hospital could pull Dr. Troubadour out of a prolonged financial slump.

“You mean there are 100 injured people laying on the ground outside my hospital right now?” Troubadour looked anxiously around the room. “Betty—Betty’s my assistant, Betty? I’m buying you that new camper you said you wanted.”

Troubadour’s grim visage returned as news of the massacre spread rapidly across the Soviet republics, where demonstrations had already strained the pockets of central government whose holes long since emptied into the penny loafers stamping a human face for eternity.

By afternoon, several republics announced they would no longer recognize authority from Moscow, while Soviet military commanders reportedly abandoned posts, removed insignia and began negotiating independently with the Internet Chronicle, begging like little criminal bitches for pictures of our passports, money, and feet pics.

Lebal Drocer Publisher and CEO Raleigh T. Sakers stood on the front lawn as explosions and debris clattered around him. From the shadows of his invisible empire, Sakers has poured his blood and guts into the Soviet Chronicle, and in 2011 took a bullet in the line of duty behind the Internet Chronicle news desk.

“Them motherfuckers in the police blotter don’t want their names in the paper, they ought to act right,” Sakers shouted. “I will mouth fuck you!”

In Moscow, Communist Party officials attempted to reassure the public that the Soviet Union remained intact, and that the chronicle.su would remain under their control, but state television abruptly ceased normal programming shortly after 6 p.m. The Soviet flag was lowered over government buildings before midnight. No replacement government immediately claimed responsibility for the attack in Georgia.

Freedom ain’t free. It’s regulated and redistributed by the government first.

Internet Chronicle remained operational throughout the collapse. Reporters working from inside the damaged Cuthbert headquarters confirmed publication would continue thanks to the important work performed under naked supervision at the Internet Chronicle Preservation Society.

internetchronicle.org

This story is brought to you proudly by Lebal Drocer, Inc.
We own everything that matters.

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Kony building dirty Ebola bomb

kony
Kony is cooking up “dirty” Ebola bombs by sending his child army to collect thousands of deceased Ebola victims.

INTERNET—Kony, terrorist commander of Africa’s child army, has teamed up with weapons technicians from Boko Haram to construct what has been called a “dirty” Ebola bomb.

Rather than weaponizing the deadly virus through genetic modification and lab cultivation, Kony’s child troops have been sent on a suicide mission into the heart of the Ebola outbreak to collect thousands of corpses for construction of the dirty bomb.

Biological weapons expert Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador said, “If the bodies were pulverized, the liquid pressurized and detonated or dispersed with compressed air over urban areas, that kind of a dirty bomb could kill thousands, or potentially millions of Americans.

The technology to do this is available at any hardware store or airfield across the planet. It’s a 9/11 like scenario where the imagination of the terrorists turns peaceful technology into an unforeseen sophisticated weapon of mass destruction.”

Already, Americans around the country have been advised to huddle in their homes and tape over their windows with plastic sheeting to seal out the Ebola vapors that could descend at any minute.

However, Dr. Cecilia Darwin of the CDC said:

“Ebola can only effect Africans, and when it infects a European or Asian person the effects are never fatal. It’s long been known that Ebola was created in a weapons program where diseases were created to target certain haplogroups, and it’s my understanding that only African Americans should worry about the impending Ebola bombs.”

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Soviet Rebirth In Moscow

FABLED SOVIET DREAM COME TRUE!

Soviet Russians rally for power in Moscow
Soviet Russians rally for power in Moscow

It's a power grab, and it's taking place NOW. Russians rallied in their fortuitous nation's capital city Monday, celebrating their God-King's rise to power, Vladimir Putin. Putinists ate their TerrorBloc and set eyes on the skies, hoping to catch a glimpse of more than 100 chemtrail-spewing MiG-35's, which showered the nation with power – a beautiful display of Soviet dominance.

The Soviet Revolution taking place in Russia spells hope for the power elite who hope to instill a love for their hatred of the allied states: USA, England and Capitalist Venezuela.

Comrade Putin has issued the following edict: all bloggers garnering readership greater than 3,000 people per day must register with the central government or face up to five years' detention. We would like to take this opportunity to extend our deepest gratitude, as a former soviet newspaper, to Comrade Putin for his courageous efforts from Moscow. We are currently in the process of attempting to register as a new Soviet mouthpiece for the state.

GLORIOUS AND INFALLIBLE internetchronicle.org/ staff eagerly await Putin's decision to accept the website into Mother Russia's nurturing bosom; her nuclear-backed peace garden.

What's next for the Internet Chronicle at internetchronicle.org/? Only time will tell. But for now, the website has thrown its full support behind our new Commander-In-Chief – Vladimir Putin – Patriot God-King.