Author: billywalshe

MOSCOW — Edward Snowden, NSA leaker, shared secret CIA documents with Internet Chronicle reporters which incontrovertibly prove that Martin Luther King was murdered because, as the internal memo says, “Initial analysis showed blacks just wanted to use public restrooms and participate in pointless ‘voting’ rituals, but that n***er King has crossed the Rubicon and wants actual change. He wants to organize labor. Take him out at any cost.” This secret CIA memo was dated just a few days before King was assassinated.

Snowden chose Martin Luther King Day to release these shocking documents for its symbolic importance to Americans. This holiday is a time to remember King’s famous “dream,” which has turned into a nightmare in many urban areas where schools are still segregated and the only form of social mobility left is drug dealing.

Snowden said he believed King’s dream has been systematically stamped out by the CIA, “A rogue group within the CIA acted with impunity to target blacks. They murdered JFK, MLK, and hired the scientists who invented crack. Then, they sent agents into black urban centers to teach drug dealers how to cook crack, ensuring that the socioeconomic imbalance would continue to favor whites for as long as possible. Is it a coincidence that since then, the war on drugs has imprisoned millions of blacks? Based on a few hints, I believe this cabal within the CIA actually held more allegiance to the Ku Klux Klan than the US government, and what’s more, it seems they’re still operating to this day to keep ‘drug war’ propaganda in the public eye. It’s time to let Martin Luther King’s people go. They’ve been in prison for long enough.”

INTERNET —  Every single fucking day, Twitter revolutionaries speak of dismantling the government. Why? Because our friends at the NSA have terrible surveillance powers no one should ever have access to, and the military conveniently polices genocidal dictators. Terrible, chilling stuff. But if you take down the government, you take down a monolithic totem of evil.

Tomorrow, Anarchist hackers will shut down all major government networks and permanently wipe all the government hard drives. Because the government will be so off guard, other Anarchists will be inspired by the propaganda of such an epic deed, and all levels of government even down to police stations and schools will be dissolved or brought under control of the Anarchists. A lot of people will probably die in this process, but not so many as one might think, because Anarchists are nice and don’t really want to hurt anyone.

The next day, many billionaires, sensing a vacuum of power, will offer to pay members of the disenfranchised military and police forces a reduced wage. Better than nothing, and no one will have to starve or find a nonexistent job market for their skills. Order will be enforced more ruthlessly than ever and corporations will have absolutely no reason to protect any individual rights, as such things do not generally help make a profit. The days of old, when police officers could be prosecuted for hate crimes, will be long over. Now the NSA won’t spy on you, but Google and every other major Telecom has been playing that game for as long as they’ve been in business, and there won’t be much need for pesky privacy agreements because there will be no courts for you to sue them with. All prisons will be corporate prisons filled simply with people who chose Coke instead of Pepsi or pirated movies online.

[pullquote]”Right now there is a conspiracy among many of the world’s most powerful corporations to destroy all nation states so that business can make more profit.” ~ Dr. Angstrom H. Troubador[/pullquote]These things will all be very good for business, but actually this is where we are now. Government is suffocating under corporate power. The greatest hoodwink they’ve played is telling us the government is to blame for their evil. “We’ve got too much government, and if we only had a little less, or none at all, everything would be solved.” Yes, it is the corporations telling you that government stands between you and your freedoms, because that message makes them money. They can’t scream it loud or repeatedly enough, because they’ve just now discovered how damned effective it is at increasing their profits. When you buy this idea and slap an Anarchy label on it, or go to a Tea Party event because you saw it on Their television networks, you’re led to believe you’re opposing evil, and all you’re doing is helping some corporate bigwig afford enormous excesses of equity that can’t be spent on anything but property in Iraq, Afghanistan, or Syria! Pretty damned good trick, huh?

You’re probably too damned radical to want to participate in the boring work of political organizing, or maybe you’re so damn radical you did, so you joined the Tea Party. All Hail the New TransNational Corporate Overlord. You!

DAMASCUS — Much of Syria has been transformed into a “Sea of Glass” after sources reported an enormous nuclear blast Wednesday. President Obama addressed the American people from the Oval Office, saying, “We cannot permit the use of weapons of mass destruction against innocent civilians anywhere in the world. The Assad regime has been annihilated and can no longer threaten the peace and stability of the world.”

Early estimates suggest as many as 5 million Syrians died instantly, and nuclear fallout specialists suggest that nearly a million will die slow, painful deaths from cancer and mutations. People around the globe have taken to the streets in mourning for the civilians killed by the Assad regime’s vile chemical attacks.

Russian President Vladimir Putin issued a furious statement to President Obama, “Next time we’re looking for a new source of oil and have to drop a nuke, the world should know who to blame. Obama has set the precedent, and now we’re just looking for our first target. The Russian people are as thirsty for oil as the Americans, and we have even more powerful nukes!”