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‘Original’ th3j35t3r responsible for Aurora Batman Massacre

AURORA, COLO. – New evidence unearthed by The Police revealed James Holmes as The famous Patriot Hacker known only as th3j35t3r, until now. On July 10th, 2012, th3j35t3r was replaced by a hacker known as ‘Wise.’ Since then, the original j35t3r, Holmes, went absolutely insane with the newly described pathological “Joker Syndrome,” in which the subject suffers an acute delusion and embodies The Joker character from the classic Batman comic book series.

This is EXACTLY what the public expected th3j35t3r to look like.

Originally obsessed with denial of service attacks on so-called Evil Internet Jihadis, James Holmes snapped after his Twitter account was stolen by the hacker known as ‘Wise.’ Immediately after losing his account to an impersonator, Holmes (j35t3r) stocked up on assault weapons and armor in an attempt to compensate for his impotence and, as he had relayed on AdultFriendFinder.com, his “small/average” penis size.

What followed was the kind of typical behavior expected from a self-styled comic book villain on a power trip.

EDIT: The new fake j35t3r reportedly threatened The Internet Chronicle with a Denial-of-Service attack in order to maintain the facade that he/she/they are, in fact, the “genuine” j35t3r. DO NOT LISTEN! IT IS A LIE!

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Law News

Police Gang-Rape and Tase Autistic Quadriplegic Black Child with Down Syndrome

HOLYFUCKINGSHIT

BILOXI, MISS. – Livestreamers at Occupy the Bayou captured the gang rape of a wheelchair-bound child who was beaten for laughing at riot police. The autistic quadriplegic is now in intensive care at Biloxi Regional Medical Center, and no charges have been filed against the officers identified in the footage. Anonymous released the “d0x” of suspected officers, and they have been inundated with endless phone calls and pizza deliveries, weak justice for such a terrible offence.

In the footage, which is too graphic to post, the officers clearly did exactly what everyone on Twitter is saying. Behind a cloud of tear gas, the laughing retard child is kicked out of his wheelchair, beaten, tasered, stripped naked, and then raped repeatedly by a group of officers. The police then showered rubber bullets and beanbags on the livestreamers with complete indiscrimination, and Twitter rumors confirmed they confiscated and destroyed all cameras before similarly raping the rest of the Occupiers. A witness commented the child did not stop laughing and did not lose consciousness until paramedics administered sedatives.

Police Chief John Miller said to our field reporter in Biloxi that none of these wild accusations are true and then raped him repeatedly. “Rape jokes aren’t funny. It’s a real thing that happens commonly to all sorts of people, and you are empowering rapists by making these kinds of jokes,” said one naive radical feminist who was then gang-raped by the executives at Lebal Drocer, Industries. Frank Mason, faked-death shadow CEO, commented that the raping was “just no fun without a taser.”

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News

James Holmes, Batman killer, MIND-CONTROLLED BY WESLEY WILLIS SONG

Aurora Detective Jeffery Balzac said, “Upon investigating James Holmes’ laptop, left in his vehicle at the scene, we found this video had been viewed thousands of times.”