Author: billywalshe

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Politics Status Quo

Youtube copyright thieves make millions off of YouTube Partenerships, funnel money to anti-copyright lobbyists

Anonymous has created a piece of software which partially automates the process of successfully achieving a YouTube partnership. Once an account has been approved, a sophisticated algorithm then finds the most popular videos and posts duplicate videos titled with a nonsense list of the most popular SEO terms. In many cases, these videos have received more views than the original material. A representative of Youtube told us, “YouTube has been able to keep this kind of activity suppressed in the past, but this new piece of software from Anonymous has completely overwhelmed us.” The millions received by Anonymous from this scheme is suspected to have been funneled into anti-copyright lobbyists in the form of bitcoin donations, but there is no way to know for sure.

#OpCopyrightThis, as it is known, also set up its own alternative to YouTube, AnonTube, which is hosted on cloud space rented from a Russian company that doesn’t ask questions. AnonTube features insane amounts of porn as well as Justin Bieber, Akon, and Kanye West music videos. An Anonymous source said, “We are setting up streaming network television shows and hope to stream every single cable channel in time.” This bold use of blackhat SEO combined with copyright theft and corporate advertisement is a remarkably ironic way to fight for freedom from the corporate tyranny of manufactured copyright authority.

One Anon said, “Bitcoin is just like Tor, you’re perfectly safe! Transaction invisible!”

Editor's note: Stealing copyrighted material and selling corporate ads for its distribution is always a great activity, and I recommend it if you need a few bucks. The more people do it, the harder it will be to stop. Trust me, we need to lube our lobbyists up with cash and get them bribing elected officials if we want some change, and it's not so hard when you just use bitcoins and put corporate ads on stolen copyrighted material. FINALLY, criminals like us, with millions of stolen dollars, can participate in the political process like a corporation!!!1 No one will know where the shit came from, and no one can fucking ever know! In fact, send the bitcoins to internetchronicle.org/, and you can trust we'll take care of the rest. Here's our address: 18zJouAQAMzX5sJygZ4M2QV7yb8FzxSbdq Fractions of Bitcoins Welcome!  

Categories
News

STRATFOR Documents reveal NDAA designed to combat Occupy Wall Street

Unlawful arrest! Unlawful arrest!

NEW YORK–New evidence uncovered by the recent STRATFOR hack, which sparked an Anonymous civil war, suggests that NDAA was passed so quickly specifically out of fear that Occupy Wall Street would become a violent revolution.

In this leaked e-mail the STRATFOR analyst writes, “[…] The Occupy Movement is extremely dangerous […] if they continue to refuse conforming to the established political process,” and chillingly, “NDAA should be immediately passed as quietly as possible so these groups can be dealt with cleanly.”

If you are associated with the Occupy Movement, now would not be a good time to buy a gun. In fact, now would not be a good time to have your face seen at any Occupy-related event. The federal government has decided that Occupy is a threat, and now it has the right to indefinitely detain you without charge. Some remaining Occupations have already drawn up plans to keep an ongoing roster of participants at each location, in fear that they will become a class of political prisoners.

One group contacted us on Thursday, with concerns about an especially extreme group of Occupants from Oakland who were setting up an Occupy training camp in Death Valley. According to our source, Occupy Oakland has been unable to contact a single member of the Death Valley camp for at least a week, who have been likely detained under the NDAA provision allowing indefinite detention of civilians without trial.

Categories
News

Dead Fetus Snuggler defeats Joseph Smith at Iowa Caucus

IOWA – Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum are engaged in an epic clash, antlers locked over a heaving wad of cash which is pouring from their wounds like blood. Iowa has drained millions from them, but that is the salient point. My god! 99% precincts reporting, and it’s only a difference of 5 votes! Now the Santorum’s won it. He’s a very special anal sex mixture of cum and feces, according to Urbandictionary.

Here’s the real story, though. Rick Santorum slept with a dead fetus from his miscarriaging wife and Mitt Romney’s a depraved fucking Mormon. Neither of them should be able to make it. A Mormon is the right’s answer to the left electing a Black. After all, religious freedom is a great thing.

But Romney’s still in it, he’s an outsider. He’s not an evil beltway type, he’s a businessman. Romney flips failing businesses, firing thousands of Americans to turn a profit. That’s capitalism for you, a heartless equation of freedom.

Iowa is symbolic because it is the most mediocre place in America. And because of this, they chose the most mediocre candidate possible. This helps predict which candidate will be mediocre enough to get the nomination – a holy thing which guarantees you a place as the president’s occasional critic when you lose to Obama the Osamakiller.