Author: james

Categories
Editorial

A Message from CommanderX: I Love Massa Paid Troll th3j35t3r

My name is CommanderX of Anonymous fame, or at least, that’s who I tell people I am. Lately I’ve been having a bit of an identity crisis, and there are a few things I need you to understand.

See, yesterday, I put out this fatwa against anyone who would dare engage in cyberattacks against the U.S. on 9/11. I was deliberately vague about “cyberattacks.” I might have meant denial-of-service attacks. I might have meant sophisticated attacks on SCADA systems. Nobody knows.

I get to use computer security terms as imprecisely and incorrectly as I want. You’ve gotta grant me poetic license because I’m the feared commander of the PLF. Also, I don’t really know what I meant by “the U.S.” Kinda just stuck that one out there to chill any acts of Internet dissent. Heed that and heed that good, OPBart retards.

The other thing I mentioned is that I would cooperate with paid troll th3j35t3r in righteous retaliation against any lame ass peons who would dare engage in a “cyberattack” on “the U.S.” on 9/11. I also asked massa paid troll th3j35t3r to kindly, out of his deep benevolence, stop attacking my secondary domain.

Now, I’m not really sure how I’ll attack you if you fuck with America on 9/11 since I can’t even put massa paid troll th3j35t3r in his place for attacking my secondary domain, but be warned and be warned good. And don’t ask me to authenticate my identity either. Officially, as of now, I’m continuing with my plan to going into hiding in the wake of some arrest or something to scare you and further chill your Internet actions. Don’t fuck with America.

Also, fuck you queers who say that the real America has already been anally destroyed by a set of private interests that have appropriated the name “America.” Stand down. America is what it is. And you can be damn sure that I’m gonna defend it as supreme leader of the People’s Liberation Front, that radical cyberguerilla group.

All Anon– I mean PLF members — are ordered to stand down now!

CommanderX

P.S. All hail the omnipotence of massa paid troll th3j35t3r

Categories
Editorial Uncontrollable Patriotism

For the love of God, don’t masturbate or have sex on 9/11

Just do what it says.

There are a myriad of solid reasons NOT to enjoy sexual pleasure on 9/11, such as safety, respect and religious zeal. Even more importantly, everyone knows that those who engage in sexual activity on 9/11 do not care about all the innocent people who died on 9/11. It was the day that everything changed. When those towers came down, American flags came out. Even so, one must completely refrain from masturbation, intercourse, and all forms of sexual stimulation on 9/11 in order to observe the holiday righteously.

First of all, it’s 9/11. Terror alerts will be raised and threats will be made. 9/11 is not a day on which it is wise to let one’s guard down. By masturbating or having sex on 9/11, citizens will put themselves in danger. Don’t take the risk of being caught unprepared. In the likely event of a terror attack, masturbation or sex is a deadly mistake. Stay safe on 9/11.

Secondly, how could anyone even masturbate with the endless inescapable thoughts of the innocent dead? Only a twisted and disturbed individual would be able to achieve orgasm on 9/11. It is despicable for anyone to forget about 9/11. Everyone knows the first rule of 9/11 is never forget, and breaking that rule is just as bad as having sex on 9/11. The guilt and shame should be so pervasive as to completely eliminate any Patriotic American’s sex drive.

Thirdly, we must remember always that Jesus is watching. Jesus might let a little masturbation slip by every now and then, but know that masturbation on 9/11 will earn you his hatred and a ticket straight to hell. Should a child be conceived on 9/11, the implications could be dangerous, if not deadly. At the very least, the child would likely grow up to become a converted Muslim. Worst case scenario, the evil of a couple knowingly enjoying sex on 9/11 would create a demonic portal through which the devil could plant the seed of the Antichrist. Fucking on 9/11 could mean the end of the world.

If someone enjoys sexual pleasure on 9/11, it is immediately apparent to those of us who are appropriately guilt-ridden and fear-stricken. The person who defiles 9/11 appears smarmy and cock-sure as if he or she has forgotten about 9/11. The devil turns bodies into empty casks and fills them with demons. Don’t even think of masturbating on 9/11.

Categories
News Obituaries

9/11 demons herald Muslim invasion

Welcome to Ground Zero, the sanctuary of holy American blood

Corrupt politicians are planning 9/11 memorial services without Clergy present. This is yet another sad consequence of the pervasive Marxism of the left. We can all either thank Obama for ruining the tenth anniversary of 9/11, or we, the Tea Party, must take it back.

Lucifer’s servants in the Middle East celebrated in the streets while the Christian world mourned. The demons which escaped were a sign from God that the end-times are near, and Obama is the half Muslim Antichrist.

Osama Bin Laden's face is clearly seen here.

Do you know what kind of life a Christian has in Muslim countries? Christians are persecuted by Muslims every day. Yet we allow Muslims to walk around as if they own this country because of bleeding-heart Liberals. Have we forgotten 9/11?

On that fateful day, I remember seeing debris fall from the buildings, and I did not realize at first that these were actually people choosing to jump to their deaths. They were tempted by Satan with suicide, easy death, and when their bodies hit the ground, their souls continued falling and went straight to hell.

Pure evil was unleashed from the vaporization of Muslim terrorists and expelled in the form of a hateful, sneering smoke face.

The events of 9/11 rocked me to my core. Everything changed. I knew America was under attack and the terrorists must pay. Somebody had to be brought to justice and I did not like the way Muslims were celebrating this horrible disaster. These pictures of demons are simple proof that Muslims are in fact servants of the devil, deserving of the divine justice America has served.

This is why we need prayer at all 9/11 memorial services. Demons have not left Ground Zero, they have only set up shop. The Ground Zero mosque is for some reason allowed where where no Christian prayer may be read. We must take back Ground Zero from the demons and sanctify it once more with the prayers of a Christian Nation.

The Ghost of the World Trade center still carries on, despite the presence of demons.

Amen.