We’re pleased to announce that the Columbia Police Department raided Presstorm Media early Friday morning in an ongoing operation against libertarians who need to take their anti-psychotics.
AntiVigilante could not immediately be reached for comment, as a badass muscled cop was busting his head. Witnesses to the early morning raid, which commenced with police ramming an armored SWAT van through the back wall of AntiVigilante’s mobile home, held that he could be heard screaming about “statists” and “the motherfucking gold standard.”
“Yeah man, and then this cop took oneathose extendable clubs and straight up rammed it through that fool’s skull. Shit was tight!” said neighbor Sean Hernandez, who commented on AnonOps IRC.
internetchronicle.org/ contacted the Columbia Police Department for comment on the random roundups of suspected seditionists. Spokeswoman Cori Bennett said agents “administratively arrested Blake 'AntiVigilante' Pierce as part of a law enforcement operation targeting known gang members and associates.”
Presstorm has deleted all traces of Antivigilante from their web site, under an apparent threat from law enforcement.
Thursday, Jason Mick published a blog entry on DailyTech that provided a factual account on the arrest of alleged LulzSec spokesperson Topiary. However, halfway through the post, Mick cited completely unverifiable evidence accusing Daniel Ackerman Sandberg of criminal behavior. This complete collapse in journalistic integrity should not be tolerated. Mick appears to have made no attempt to contact Sandberg, instead posting unverified IRC logs and d0x which may be part of a misinformation campaign. Jason Mick needs to retract all evidence from his article which cannot be corroborated by a trusted source.
Sadly, the truth-seekers of Anonymous have taken this possible misinformation campaign at face value simply because they believe it supports their cause. For whatever reason, the appeal of invincible leaders has caused them to lose all sanity.
In related news, Anonymous has actively inflated the success of their PayPal boycott. Yet these lies are too transparent even for Jason Mick. By taking credit for a 3% drop in eBay’s stock and the closure of 35,000 PayPal accounts, Anonymous is not engaging in some kind of productive misinformation campaign. Instead, they are acting like complete fools, ready to repeat any piece of information that makes them feel more important – whether it is from a verifiable source or not. And that’s what Anonymous is all about, isn’t it? Anons desperately want to feel important, and facts come second.
When more information is released about the arrest of Topiary, the coked-up lemmings will all have a big laugh about their hilarious “misinformation campaign” that fooled Jason Mick and thousands of others by proxy. However, the rest of the world will just look at them as a hivemind of narcissistic and gullible idiots.
Due to his multiple moving violations confusing command hallucinations to tweet with stop signs, th3j35t3r has had his d0xing license taken away after a failed an hero.
Neoconservative DDoS faggot "th3j35t3r" announced on Thursday evening in a poorly written Pastee that he would begin seeking treatment "at the syldxiea clinic."
"Ya I ben having lot sof conversations with my wifey Mach and we think thats the best thing for me at this time, rumers of me haveing downs are grately exagerated, I actually have asspurgers" Th3j35t3r wrote this in the internetchronicle.org/ comment section, which he frequents regularly during extended fap sessions, as he squats over a mirror for a better view of his gaping asshole. He elaborated, "I once read a publishers clearinghouse advertisement as a personal letter from my mother and bought 14.6 million dollars worth of subscriptions to fish and fowl."
However, members of #jester told a slightly more sordid story.
"Basically he was illiterate," said Chatterb0x, connoisseur of vegetarian Hot Pockets, which are for people who dont eat meat, but still want diarrhea. The j35t3rfag and Chatterb0x both frequent the same glory hole on every topic that no one gives a shit about. "He made me cam with him topless once and to brow beat me in to writing his Pastee entries, telling me "it rubs the hair gel on its nipples or it gets the DDoS again! I didn't really understand. I felt so dirty and confused, and I had to wring my pillow out 3 times that night before I finally fell asleep."
"The guy struts around in a women's one piece french-cut swimsuit, a potato wedged in his ass crack to ward off the evil potates, wearing a full face latex los luchadores mask. Always comes up to me and asks 'Chattie, do you think that I'm a baddie?' Whatever the lord fuck that means. Dude has an awesome collection of Batman comics, though."
Fans and beneficiaries of the j35t3r and his work include the Dept. of Justice, NAMBLA and Dell Computers.
Editor’s note:
"I'm Adrian Chen, and I can't see the humor in the internetchronicle.org/ and why they like to be ripping on The Jester (TM). I think the jester is a pretty cool guy. eh DDoS unintelligible jihad sites and doesnt afraid of anything."
I’m Adrian Chen, and I endorse CP, among others that may or may not ring true.
