Your typical acid trip
This phenomenon is often witnessed between friends who descend into infantile jabbering, as their consciousnesses “become one, dude.”
This just in: Fuck Bill Haslam.
Mel Gibson’s latest abusive rant reached a level of intensity so extreme that musician Tom Morello contacted him, seeking a vocalist who won’t pussy out like Chris Cornell. After dropping Cornell the band reformed to rage for the machine, rather than against it. There has been disagreement between de la Rocha and the band since. Tom Morello has recently commented that the band has “lost their piss,” and “[we] need some real, genuine anger.” For years, Rage has been in search of someone who could match the intensity of Zach de la Rocha, and according to Tom Morello, “we only let him back in the band for the money.” Mel Gibson is set to replace Zach de la Rocha in Rage’s upcoming tour promoting their newest album, Domestic Abuse. Elf Wax was able to contact Mel, but his only comments were shouted antisemitic slurs targeting “that dirty jew de la Rocha and his disgusting fucking hair. FUCK!”
Elf Wax has exclusive rights to Mel Gibson’s first single off of his new album, “Blow me, Bitch.”
[audio:https://internetchronicle.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Blow-Me-Bitch12.mp3|titles=Blow Me, Bitch]
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All things are pure and beautiful
The beach, Fla.–The NOAA (Nodworthy Organic Assholes Association) said Gulf seafood so far is “safe to eat,” adding, “it contains no less oil than your average meal from Long John Silver’s.”
According to a federal agency inspecting varying species caught on the oil fringes yesterday, everything is safe to eat. They wouldn’t lie. It’s a government agency.
According to expert scientists, fish are beginning to contaminate the Gulf of Oil, polluting and removing the crude oil from the waters by selfishly absorbing it into their bodies.
The federal government has closed off over eighty thousand square miles of fishing waters, making all fishable fish safe to eat.