Remember all those shocking final goodbyes to to friends and family which were played by Fox News in the aftermath of 9/11? You might want to sit down.[pullquote]”The time has certainly come for Rupert Murdoch’s resignation.” -Sarah Palin[/pullquote] Fox hired hackers to acquire the audio, carelessly invading the privacy of American families and victims of terrorism. Rupert Murdoch personally approved of this tactic in a desperate bid to increase ratings. Back in 2001, Fox was not such a dominant force in the media. By hacking the phones of 9/11 victims, Fox News was able to gain a foothold.
Rupert Murdoch should resign now
Jesus would be ashamed of Rupert Murdoch. In fact, if Rupert Murdoch doesn’t repent soon, he will definitely go to hell. Phone hacking became like an addiction to Rupert Murdoch. He went after celebrity’s voicemail accounts, dead children’s cell phones, and pretty much hacked anything that moved.
The time has come for Rupert Murdoch to step down. Like Anthony Weiner, he has made a terrible mistake and no longer deserves his place of power. America deserves better. We are a Good Christian Nation, and Fox News has betrayed both our trust and the Freedom of Press.
Researchers at Elf Wax Laboratories concluded Tuesday that smoking marijuana leads to feelings of intense euphoria, joy, laughter, even thoughtfulness, but most of all, hunger and laziness.
“Some people may experience contradictions. First the user may find himself getting hungry, but this is immediately overcome by a sweeping sense of apathy,” said leading Elf Wax Medical Doctor Langstrom T. Armstrong. Apathy toward one’s body is what cancer researchers hope will push medical marijuana use into the mainstream but for now, he said marijuana serves only to atrophy muscles away in front of a hockey game on XBOX 360 through a two-pronged effect that also includes “not eating because you spent all your money on weed and Mountain Dew.”
Kerri Holt does her part in the War on Drugs and appears to be winning.
“I’ve been smoking weed five times a day for three consecutive years,” said one marijuana user who wished to remain anonymous, “and I have only been having mild strokes and liver failure, although that is because I also drink all day every day and eat Vicoden for breakfast. Pot is safer than most people think and for those of you who say it’s a gateway drug, I have one thing to say to you: I drink because my dad used to beat me.”
Most users report a feeling of euphoria while others describe episodes of panic and terror immediately following marijuana use. Anxiety, Dr. Armstrong said, is your mind trying to tell your body that something’s wrong. If one can successfully shut off all thoughts originating from the logic center of the brain, as most women inherently can, then a person may truly begin to bottle up feelings of insecurity, aggression and rage that under normal circumstances might be directed toward the corporate-sponsored military-industrial complex, and that user can then turn those negative feelings inward on themselves. NIDA’s (National Institute on Drug Abuse) website advises people to “Take a deep breath and embrace this opportunity to hate yourself.”
Marijuana is a popular tool for the U.S. Government to control the minds of free-thinkers. By keeping the drug illegal, they satisfy the interests of pharmaceutical companies who could not compete with marijuana and they delude the public into believing smoking reefer is a means of actualizing the mind’s often-dormant potential they do not want you to have access to. Its true effects include the right combination of apathy, disinterest, emotional desensitization, and illusory transient understanding of the forces that guide us to allow the shadow government to act in darkness, along their pre-determined circuits through the blind spots of our knowledge. Also, it goes without saying that many people who smoke grass believe the act alone of getting high is a rebellion in and of itself and their hat is now in the political arena; stickers are going out on all future election days with the slogan “I stayed home and got high!” printed on it as opposed to “I voted!” “It means the same fucking thing,” a sticker-girl told reporters around the Tabernacle Church voting booths.
"I fuckin' hate the government, man. So I smoke weed and just try to forget about it." - Some white guy with dreadlocks
In addition to marijuana, our correspondent said bumper stickers and Facebook groups are also on the rise, among other types of “armchair activism” that includes signing online petitions and forwarding emails. “People aren’t just smoking weed to get nothing done. They’re also sitting around watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond, eating at McDonald’s and refreshing on average five to eleven FOX-news-related twitter pages per day.”
I’m just so glad all those annoying anti-war protesters in the streets in Washington finally have a place to go,” said housewife Maude Davis, 73. “Now the only protesters you ever hear about are those religious types, and I like them because they stand up for the sanctity of life.”
The War on Drugs is not over yet, for as long as Nature has something to offer, the government will be there to regulate it. New laws are coming this Spring to a local law enforcement agency near you. Stay tuned for tips on how to think, live and feel.
New things are happening. Don’t use your real information. Don’t worry about me. What’s there will eventually be pushed into obscurity. I will delete this article once it finds a happy position on the front page.
And once hosting is launched, I will go on a crusade, bringing all of these domains together under wicked underground hosting like you don’t even understand. Say goodbye to the confines of censorship and ambiguous intellectual property rights. I’ll get the software like we talked about, and streamline it all. It’ll take hours upon hours consuming days that will turn into weeks of toil and effort. But it’ll be worth it. A modem is on its way. Our video keeps being deleted by copyright laws. That will stop, too, based on my new and improved fair use policy, in which everything goes that’s arguably legal and fair – we don’t have to suffer just because you do.
