Categories
Editorial

What the fuck is the Plan?

If this makes sense to you, you're deeply delusional.

So what’s this big “plan” that some Anonfags keep talking about? There seems to be a load of extremely vague and terrible bullshit surrounding this whole phenomenon, so I thought I’d take a closer look. Turns out, it’s a pretty transparent attempt at piggybacking Anonymous to create a solid ideology that’s centered around a small cabal of leaders.

One of the goals of this “plan” is a new government. While it’s perfectly logical to want to scrap the government we currently have, joining in a web forum dedicated to this purpose is equivalent to putting yourself on the terror watch list. Anyway, I think there are many within Anonymous who feel like our government would work properly if more people actually became involved in it, rather than advocating a complete revolution. Trying to define Anonymous as dedicated to a new government is offensive to my understanding of the collective.

The principles of “the plan” are to promote personal growth, government transparency, and freedom of speech. However, I don’t see how what is the plan actually practices any of these principles. For one, there is no transparency in their forums, as they are not open to the public. Secondly, the phases of “the plan” are some kind of cloak-and-dagger secret. Thirdly, the participants don’t seem to speak freely about what “the plan” actually means. It appears they’re only allowed to say ridiculously vague and mysterious things devoid of any real meaning. Finally, we can assume that the discussion is tightly controlled and puts boundaries on individuality, discouraging personal growth. The only reason to keep a forum private is to hide this kind of behavior – behavior I’ve witnessed in the closed forums of the Tea Party. In every way, what is the plan mirrors the structure of Tea Party Nation, a closed forum centered around the personalities of a few leaders they call moderators.

“Each phase will explain the progress and current focus as they are initiated. Phase 1 will begin on approximately June 15th, 2011. Phase 2 will be an expansion and escalation of Phase 1 with a much more collective focus, while Phase 3 will bring the masses of The Plan to action across the globe. The people will be heard. “

The three phase one-year plan reeks of Stalin’s five year plans. The plan will be over, and another plan will just take its place. These plans will just feed on the idealism of young Anons and offer them a pretend reward when the plan is finalized, which will never even be delivered in an intangible form. Just like Stalin’s five year plans, this “plan” is just a propaganda tool to draw people into the forums at what is the plan. God only knows what their real plan is, but let’s hope its not to create a catalog of people who support the overthrow of the government. Because from this armchair activist’s point of view, that’s sure what it looks like.

Categories
Hate Uncontrollable Patriotism

White House Demands Assange Assassination

Hillary Clinton

Washington, D.C. — Calls ring out of the White House for Julian Assange’s assassination following leaked documents penned by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton calling for investigations by every government agency into the online activities of Sabu, LulzSec afficionado, who she suspects to be connected with Hamas, Iran and known terrorist organizations.

Clinton threatened Assange Monday during a White House press conference by calling for his genitals.

“I want his balls,” Clinton said. “I want his dick. On my desk, I mean I want it severed and put on ice so I can ride it – I mean throw it from the window of a moving limousine. Assange is a threat to our freedoms and a menace on society.”
Already bounties are springing up around the planet for the renegade journalist and publisher.

Human Rights Watch advocates say they are concerned calls for Julian Assange’s head is a threat to global free speech but Rupert Murdoch, prominent free speaker, says otherwise.

Rupert Murdoch
Rupert Murdoch is insulted by the question.

In a symposium on the principles of ethical reporting, Murdoch said, “If he doesn’t like republishing the status quo, maybe he should consider another profession.” Murdoch’s deprecatory comments toward free thinkers were met with resounding applause throughout the Puckataw, Kansas ∞ Freedom Hate Humphrey Auditorium.

Bored with factual news and raw information, the American public have largely shown preference to conjecture and overtly emotional performances of total bias as an indicator of truth. William O'BrimleyIt is by this mechanism calls to assassinate and putting .png targets over political opponents’ faces has become an acceptable practice. The American People love their violence. Thank sweet baby Jesus it’s being applied to the nightly newscast.

Right-wing writer and free speech advocate Andrew Breitbart said in addition to Julian Assange, Clinton, Palin and others are enjoying their freedoms of speech as well.

“A jovial call to homicide is alright every once in a while, so long as it’s all in good fun. Nobody really takes that stuff seriously. Right?”

Gabby Giffords - Shot in the head
Sure.

The internetchronicle.org/ is in full support of the bounty on Julian Assange's head and we are working systematically to bring him to US authorities. Contributions and our bounty are accepted via bitcoin:
18zJouAQAMzX5sJygZ4M2QV7yb8FzxSbdq

Categories
Hate

Articles Are Killing The Chronicle

What’s with all the stories?

internetchronicle.org/ used to be way better, like back in August 2008 before you started writing again. Please stop writing. Articles are killing the Chronicle.

Seems like every day, almost twice a day, there’s something to read about here, some fake-ass news story with jokes and humor in it. You know what? Maybe I don’t want to read anything. Maybe I’d rather F5 this shit all day and see nothing, just the same old fucking Books Are Dangerous advertisements.

You know what else, I really don’t understand you. Why do you write? What do you hope to achieve? What is the Lebal Drocer mission statement? They’re a chemical company, right, so what are they doing in the publishing business? You sicken me. Oh, by the way, Washington finally reached a debt agreement. Enjoy your continued tax breaks while I quietly accept cuts to my children’s education and medicare. Fucken scum.

You faggots need to go back to your roots and quit all this. I thought you used to get high all the time, prank-call Wal-Marts, drank yourselves into week-long stupors, and got mad underage puss on the reg. What happened to you? What the fuck happened to you?

Listen, I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you this: Ain’t nobody likes to read as much as you guys been writing. The average reader needs a lot of pictures. Hell, I prefer nothing but pictures. In fact, I wouldn’t be at all upset if the Chronicle gradually shifted completely to the use of pictures without words to tell their stories, and maybe just used faces to make me feel emotions I wouldn’t otherwise relate to such as weariness, joy, gratification and rage. Like Reddit does!

If I was you, which I am, I’d just scrap this site altogether, man. Cats are funnier. Cats are damn funny. Look.

Cat vaccination
Hilarious.

Piss on ya. Start a cat blog.

Everything is shit! Cyberterrorists! All of you contribute to the decay of this Earth. You are poison! Venomous, reviled internet pigs of war on Christianity, peace and the Lord’s good name be damned if you don’t change your ways and quit altering history the way you are! IF you seek salvation, repent now! And if not, I hope you all rot in hell on fire forever as you suffer the unlimited lifetimes of heat and brimstone, flames kissing your asses, just like your fucken heathen-ass fans do now. Like you deserve, or don’t – or whichever, shit hell I’m all turned around.

Love the Twitter feed, though.