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News

Boston Bomber “mad” after Red Sox win the Pennant

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev reportedly flew into a rage when Boson won the Pennant, Saturday night.
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev reportedly flew into a rage when Boston won the Pennant Saturday night.

BOSTON — Dzohkhar Tsarnaev, terrorist infamous for Boston Marathon Bombings, flew into a rage Saturday night when the Red Sox won the National League Pennant. Tsarnaev has been unable to speak due to extensive injuries inflicted during the protracted shootout following the bombing, but he was able to angrily scrawl on a piece of notebook paper, “I hate Boston and nothing made me angrier than the amazing grand slam which sealed the victory for the Red Sox. Allahu Akhbar! The Sox have no chance against the Cardinals in the upcoming World Series.”

Shocked Red Sox fans attempted to storm Tsarnaev’s fortified hospital room, but were met with armed resistance by paramilitary shock troopers called in to protect the mass murdering terrorist. Angry Red Sox fan, Gerald MacDonald, told reporters, “I don’t understand why he bombed a marathon if he just wanted to talk shit about baseball. I mean, why not just bomb the baseball fans?”

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Special Interest Trolling

Internet Attorney Sue Basko Deletes Internet Chronicle Accusations

Shrew BaskoINTERNET – Susanne Brasko, Internet attorney at lawl, took down an article Saturday lambasting The Internet Chronicle’s pivotal role in the FBI raid on Aaron Bale. The article’s takedown coincides with the explosive release of Yung Danny Dantalion’s new hit single “Sue Basko – BASED FREESTYLE.”

internetchronicle.org/ editors said they were hesitant to release Brasko's threatening article before now. "But traditionally, when an article gets taken down, that's our cue to ensure the integrity of the historical public record by putting it back up ourselves," said Hatesec, staff writer for the Chronicle. "This is The Internet Chronicle, ENSURING everything you write online, is truly forever – just like our high school administration promised us it would be. Thanks, Blevins."

The two-page article can be found below.

NOW PLAYING:  Sue Basko – BASED FREESTYLE *RARE* Yung Danny Dantalion

Basko Threatens the Chronicle [Part 1]

Basko Threatens the Chronicle [Part 2]

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Technology Trolling

Snowden Reveals Revolutionary Hacking Method

Snowden says CryptoParty factions will shut the Internet down if they do not allow U.N. collectivization under Agenda 21MOSCOW – In his new video, a sleepy Edward Snowden demonstrated how to hack any website using only an iPhone and the RAM from a scientific calculator. With these new secrets, Snowden said, literally anyone in the world can carry out an attack on a government agency.

“You hear a lot of talk about TOR and VPNs,” he cautioned, “that’s what LulzSec used to do.” Snowden said use of TOR and VPNs is what blew LulzSec’s cover.

With this new method, he said, “You’re free to take on any government agency. You can carry out really any attack vector on any website … And once you’ve done that, you’re basically a hacker,” he said. “And you’re completely untraceable.”

http://youtu.be/vI6wVTPHFno