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News Technology

6 Dead as Hack Forums Legend f0rsaken HACKS Chronicle.su

Cryptic Photo Posted on the Defaced Site; Scary!

 

Haters rejoiced late Easter Sunday, as a plot was devised to devour and destroy the illustrious and mighty Internet Chronicle. The plan was hatched on an encrypted video chat platform that only hackers use, called “TinyChat“. We managed to grab a few logs from the encrypted chat, but they were using what we believe may be the SHA-1 hash function so we could only decrypt parts of it.

| [12:35 AM] hoic: niggas
| [12:35 AM] x: sup hoic
| [12:35 AM] hoic: defacing chronicle sometime s00n
| [12:35 AM] x: lay it down mofo
| [12:35 AM] x: word
| [12:35 AM] x: <3
| [12:35 AM] hoic: nuffin too biggie

The hack was done by the great and knowledgeable Hack Forums Hero known as f0rsaken aka hoic aka @itsd00m. He is well versed in social engineering trickery, such as jacking amazon accounts and some say he may have a "botnet," but these are simply unconfirmed allegations.

While the deface was rather gauche, it did provide clear dox of all internetchronicle.org/ employees and their families, while giving a nod to the great John Thiessen, aka Ron Brynaert. "#hatesec" was plastered all over the site, which seems to be a new hacking group with more skills than Dan Kaminsky, as they poisoned the Chronicles DNS and rerouted all traffic to 9gag, all the while maintaining root and mining information to SWAT people with.

As you can see, the critical infrastructure of the site is completely crippled and our lives are all over.

Goodnight, from Washington.

Categories
News Sports

Kevin Ware brutally injured by Illuminati

College basketball player Kevin Ware's leg was fractured by the Illuminati, Sunday.
College basketball player Kevin Ware’s leg was fractured by the Illuminati, Sunday.

LOUSIVILLE — Kevin Ware, basketball player for the Lousiville Cardinals, suffered a brutal leg injury at the hands of fiendish Illuminati players from Duke. Diving to block a shot and influenced by some kind of witchcraft, Ware landed badly and his leg shattered at the shin.

Doctors say it will take at least 10 years to heal, and Ware’s career in basketball is practically over forever. Louisville has recently surprised fans by winning against high-powered teams like Duke, who are commonly believed to have ties to the Illuminati.

Ware, when interviewed by deceased journalist Frank Mason, said, “Man, fuck the Illuminati. I’ma get me some real doctors down in Cuba and be back ballin’ in no time.”

Categories
Hate News Politics Uncontrollable Patriotism World

Tom Ryan Spearheads Cyberwar on the DPRK

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Under Armor Spokesman, @th3j35t3r Attacks North Korea

Under the moniker @th3j35t3r, a little-known Twitter account, Tom Ryan of Provide Security is currently gearing up for cyber war with North Korea, Anonymous in tow.

After a series of test runs against mom-and-pop DPRK websites, we see Tom Ryan, aka John Tiessen, as possessing the ability to completely cripple the entire infrastructure of North Korea’s Internets. While working with OWASP on Web app exploitation, in the mid ’90’s Ryan developed — with the help of a DARPA contract and Adrian Lamo —  a tool known only as XerXes, which sends “packets” to a given “serve,”, causing it to go offline temporarily. Some say it was also developed to really annoy Ron Brynaert.

This method, while not new, is very new and effective. The source code of XerXes has been hidden from the world for over two decades and far surpasses everything from WinNuke to LOIC/HOIC.

So is this a military operation? Is this what the NSA has been planning for years, General Keith Alexander at the helm? Or is this just a completely superfluous news article about something so utterly boring no one is reading?

We asked #hatesec’s Chairman of the Board Kevin Eubanks for comment, but all we got were some fucking lame jazz fusion licks instead.