HAMAS GATHERS IN FRONT OF THE WHITE HOUSETYLER BASS of The Elf Wax Times Live Reporting Team is at the anti-war protest rally in Washington, D.C. Here we are in front of the White House, where the march began. The protesters are currently marching from LaFayette to 16th. These pictures are extremely high-resolution. They are in descending order starting at the top and going down (sorry we were in a hurry).An absurd caricature of a hippie.tyler bass: anti-war march on Washington, D.C. March 20, 2010
Imperial March music plays in the background. It is rumored that Hamas has infiltrated the protest group and plans to bring down Democracy from the inside out. This is why the Public Works Department is fining the ANSWER Coalition into the ground.
tyler bass: protesters en route to Halliburtonthousands of people march down the streetA drum circle settles the angry crowds.this guy with the "kill the bill" sign was a Ron Paul supporter, and a 9/11 Truther who believes the World Trade Center was rigged with explosives and fell due to a controlled explosion and not the airplanes crashing into buildings
On the WTC, our reporter asked this man, who is a Ron Paul supporter and a 9/11 Truth Movement…advocate-guy, “Ron Paul said he doesn’t believe there were bombs in the World Trade Center.”
He responded, “[He has] to say that because he’s a politician.”
To which we asked, “Why are you going to vote for someone who’s just gonna lie to get elected?”
The Islamic holocaust.
Indict the previous president for what's happening now. It's all his fault.
if you look closely, you can see Al Qaeda
Roughly five or six thousand people attended the protest rally to march.
A few people were arrested or detained. Earlier in the day, a group of people belonging to Iraq Veterans Against War (IVAW) tried to put down a mud stencil on the sidewalk. The police got mad about it and cited a statute under D.C. law that you can’t put out a mud stencil. Protesters were no longer allowed near that area.
Wayne Brauer and Matthieux Chiraux were detained. Cindy Sheehan was arrested for who knows how many times in a row. She’s planning to camp somewhere, too.
Nader showed up but would not speak to reporters. At least not Elf Wax reporters.
Ramsey Clark, Saddam Hussein’s attorney was present but also would not speak to us.
Now that the “War on Terror” has been declared officially over, President Hussein Obama has declared war on the Third World, which in fact has been going on since Vietnam. His policy of honesty has been met with complete apathy. America and its satellite nations are engaged in a campaign to eradicate any progress in developing countries which may threaten future corporate profit. Vietnamese, Iraqis, and Afghanis have learned how powerless they are as they drink Coca Cola in lieu of a clean water supply.
In America, things are very quiet. Airplanes are loaded with Prozac and leave aerosol trails of obedience and submissive behavior in a perfect grid over the nation. The only people who seem to be capable of any type of outrage are only expressing it towards the most trivial changes in their lives. So-called “Tea Parties,” have shifted most of their vitriolic hate-protest towards the new Facebook layout.
Energy, Budget Cut, Tax, Lift American Spirits. A proper Tea Party.
Sarah Palin has gripped the reins of this hateful group and begun steering it towards her own agenda. Palin’s pseudo-revolutionary rhetoric has been ramped up tenfold by her newly discovered technique of writing and reading from her hand. Palin’s bestselling memoir Going Rogue: An American Life is now on sale at Wal Mart for a suspiciously low price. Originally “My Struggle: An American Life,” the title was changed by the publisher at the last-minute for an undisclosed reason.
In Italy, America has bastardized traditional Italian ingredients to form a “partially edible” new sandwich cleverly named the McItaly. This sandwich is obviously a collusion between McDonald’s and the highest levels of Italian government. Elf Wax sources have revealed McDonald’s plans for the McHaiti-a sandwich made entirely with misappropriated food relief. McHaitis will be distributed to crowds of hungry people with compressed air guns by employees dressed as Ronald McDonald, the Hamburglar, and other beloved McDonald’s friends.
Miami, Fl.–Elf Wax staff columnist and celebrated Communist Kirill Milosevic was fatally gunned down in a battle with police outside a Miami jail on Friday. Having no middle name after it was stolen in Leningrad, Milosevic was said by reporters to have been protesting America’s increasingly anti-nuclear warfare stance.
“More nukes would kill more people,” Milosevic once quipped during a White House press conference, “and not one American would have to die.” Indeed, Milosevic’s views on nuclear disarmament were controversial, but influenced, no doubt, by the automatic-tactical-nightmare-scenario conditioning of Civilization II – Multiplayer Gold Edition. “Fuck the Republic,” Milosevic once screamed during a game, crashing his heavy, alcoholic fists into the keyboard. “THERE WILL BE – REVOLUTION!”
“He will be remembered far and wide. His face, eternally scorched into the backs of our eyes. His memory, effervescent like the taste of raw iodine under nuclear winter. His words, permanent.”
– Fearless President and World Emporer Barack Hussein Obama
Milosevic agreed that we have too many nuclear weapons and he once believed that the solution to the problem of nuclear backstock was to fire “any number” of warheads indiscriminately toward any nation, even non-threatening government bodies, “like Switzerland, to set an example of respect among despicable, isolationist cowards.”
“He was right,” said Robert Hussein Obama, the blackest man to ever be elected as President of the United States of America. “If I had nuked Iran during my first day in office, we wouldn’t be dealing with their concealed nuclear reactor today. Milosevic, like Brokaw, was a good man who lived for the truth and died for less, and he will be missed long after the wake of his death settles on the entire journalistic community. He will be remembered far and wide. His face, eternally scorched into the backs of our eyes. His memory effervescent, like the taste of raw iodine under nuclear winter. His words, permanent.”
“Enough radiation,” said Elf Wax resident Doctor Langstrom T. Armstrong, “would send the message loud and clear that they don’t want Nukes.” Armstrong added later that saturating the human body in radiation and forcing upon it a death sentence “gets results.”
Which is why many experts allow that Milosevic’s opinions on nuclear weapons were not so far off-base, some going so far as to say nuclear weapons make people feel more secure, and give them self esteem and even the courage to forgo suicide temporarily, especially when consumers take into consideration that a booming nuclear warhead industry means freshly-available after school jobs for the industrious teen who wishes to help Mom and Dad out with the bills.
Milosevic knew, before any US President, that nuclear warheads, unlike stimulus bills, stimulate the economy, endowing it with a throbbing, radioactive erection relieved only by explosions, above-ground detonations, or long-range ejaculatory trajectories into the tits of Siberia.
“Not to mention,” added Langstrom, “Increased exposure to radiation leads to rapid terminal illnesses, producing high turnover rates at the job place.” Truly, it is the “perfect job” for the 16-18 crowd just looking for some quick spending money for a date at the movies or a Saturday night chemo bath.
But no matter how hotly debated Kirill Milosevic’s values became, there was no arguing with the fourteen pellets of 12-gauge spray to the face Friday night, to which Milosevic had no retort, and so he died clinging, with dedication, to the Stalinist values of Western Society. “Such paradoxes were issues Milosevic loved to muse upon,” said his wife, sister, and mother of their three devolving inbred spawn.
Legendary Elf Wax Campaign Journalist Covering the 2008 Elections
In one article, he dissected the Socialist agenda of Hussein Boma and contributed to a popular Elf Wax article written on the campaign trail titled “Socialism, and why I’m forcing it on you.” It was never published, due to fair, legitimate First Amendment restrictions imposed by the Police Sector of Lebal Drocer, Incorporated. Once again, truth was upheld.
Milosevic’s age was largely unknown for all his life because he was born in a field, under a new moon and then instantly separated from his mother by trusted Lebal Drocer affiliates out of fears that he may adopt her womanly traits, and fail to report the news objectively. He was subsequently raised by gun-toting military officials and MPs, and forced to sit in on political executions for entertainment.
Milosevic reigns supreme! Putin forever! Down with the tyrant! Barrac “Hussein” Obomma!
Rest in peace, comrade. Because the truth never will.
